


Forgive You

by Ignisentis



Series: Beautiful, Quivering, Chivalrous Shambles [4]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Forgiveness, Light Angst, M/M, Soft Soft Soft This is so Soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29299512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ignisentis/pseuds/Ignisentis
Summary: “You know why,” Nicolò says shakily.Yusuf shakes his head and creeps ever closer. “No, I do not. I only know you said you loved me as I love you but that we could never be together. That isn’t a reason, Nicolò, only a flimsy excuse.”~~~~~In which Nicolò thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved and forgiven and Yusuf proves he's wrong.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Beautiful, Quivering, Chivalrous Shambles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991572
Comments: 14
Kudos: 206





	Forgive You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FereldenTurnip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FereldenTurnip/gifts).



> This is for FereldenTurnip, who drew the most glorious fanart of Nicolò and Yusuf clutching each other tenderly as they cried, and I just had to write something about it!
> 
> Please do yourself a favor and go check it out [HERE](https://fereldenturnip.tumblr.com/post/642586136382996480/i-forgive-you-ps-thank-you-those-awesome) and show some love!!!

“Why?” Yusuf asks, finally, the only word he can choke out as anguish reaches down his throat and steals his words, the very breath in his lungs. 

Nicolò’s still walking away from him, each step further like a knife through the ribs. He takes two steps more before faltering. He was so sure when he told Yusuf their love could never be, so full of conviction, but now his shoulders are starting to pull in and he hesitates. 

Yusuf takes a step toward him. 

Nicolò turns his head to the side, the setting sun limning his face and hair in fiery oranges and reds and golds like some sort of holy flame. Yusuf wants to reach out and touch it, touch  _ him,  _ and burn together. 

“You know why,” Nicolò says shakily. 

Yusuf shakes his head and creeps ever closer. “No, I do not. I only know you said you loved me as I love you but that we could never be together. That isn’t a reason, Nicolò, only a flimsy excuse.”

Nicolò huffs and faces forward again, silent for a long moment before he tips his head back and looks to the sky, as if to ask God for guidance. 

Or perhaps instead he’s placing blame there. 

Yusuf steps behind Nicolò and places his hand carefully upon his shoulder, shuddering at the contact, the first such between them since they stopped trying to kill each other many months ago. Nicolò shivers beneath his palm and lets himself be turned as Yusuf gently pushes against his shoulder, guiding him until he’s facing Yusuf once more.

The green of Nicolò’s tunic accentuates the color of his pale, mysterious eyes, making them look more green today than blue. He’s beautiful,  _ so beautiful _ . At night, when the moon is high and the stars are bright and the sand around them has lost all traces of the sun, Yusuf keeps himself warm by looking at Nicolò’s sleeping form across their campsite and thinking about how he’s the only person walking the Earth who knows.

“Nicolò, please,” Yusuf whispers between them, softer than a bird’s wing upon the air.

“Yusuf,” he chokes, tears pooling in his eyes, glittering like emeralds, precious and rare. “After everything I’ve done, how can I deserve to be loved by anyone, let alone by you, the best man I have ever known? My sins are too vast, too encompassing, to ever fully atone for, though I’ll spend the rest of my apparent long life trying.”

“You’re wrong,” Yusuf declares, reaching out to clasp Nicolò’s arm. “You’re so  _ wrong _ , Nicolò. You have learned and grown and changed, and you  _ have _ atoned. You act like these sins were yours alone, but they were not, so nor should you shoulder the blame for them alone.”

“Yusuf…”

“Do you not deserve redemption? Do you not deserve forgiveness when you repent? Isn’t that what Christ teaches?”

“How can He forgive me for slaughter and destruction in his name? He would not!” Nicolò pleads, begging Yusuf to understand.

“I care not what he would or would not do, Nicolò.  _ I  _ forgive you.”

Nicolò’s mouth falls open in shock and he staggers back as though struck. “What — what did you say?”

Yusuf steps forward once more and reaches out to chance a gentle caress upon his beloved’s face. “I forgive you, Nicolò di Genova,” he says boldly and purely, to the air, to the sky, to the land and the trees, to the setting sun and the rising moon and the man he loves with his entire heart.

Nicolò slumps to his knees as if his guilt were the only thing keeping him on his feet. He reaches out and pulls Yusuf to him, clasping his arms around Yusuf’s back as he presses his face into Yusuf’s chest and lets his tears fall.

Yusuf tangles his right hand into Nicolò’s silky hair, his left he gently wraps around Nicolò’s neck to hold him and cherish him and thumb away the tears that streak down his cheeks. 

His own tears he lets fall freely that they may salt the earth where Nicolò buries these feelings so they will never grow tall again. 


End file.
